So Here we go:
If women could read minds, every second man will get slapped.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
I love it when my laptop says are you sure you want to continue unprotected?
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.
sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi connection.
my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
forcing my cat to learn how to google.
Insert coin to view my status update.
I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me.
Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.
Relationships are like Tom and Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say "I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"
NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
with great power comes great electricity bill.
"sorry sorry sorry reallysorry reallysorry sorry" - remorse codeSo did you enjoy these statuses? I hope so.